Decision-Making Beyond the Obvious
When I was young my neighbor had a large tree in their yard that sprawled up into a V shape into the sky. They gave me a call and asked me to help cut it down. The crew included the dad, his two sons, and myself. As the dad cut on the tree, myself and the oldest son stood on the tailgate of a truck giving it everything we had waiting for it to give way.
The truck bed we were standing in had one of those toolboxes that are meant to run perpendicular to the bed and set up against the cab. The issue with this day was the toolbox had been turned sideways running parallel to the bed and very much in the way.
After pushing for a while we stopped, as it seemed the tree wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Well...we were wrong. As the dad continued to cut the tree gave way, the only problem, it started falling right onto the truck!
As the older brother and myself scrambled, the toolbox became a barrier stopping us from escape. My brother in peril was pretty tall which gave him the ability to leap over the toolbox with his long legs to the ground. As the tree came down on me, I looked up and felt I only had two decisions. I could either stay and get crushed or try to jump probably not make it....and still get crushed.
Then something happened, my brain opened up to a whole new third option... and I simply took one large step backwards and the V of the tree fell over me. I escaped...without one scratch. I'm not going to lie.... I felt like Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible...or something like that. I was pretty proud of myself, I went from almost dying to one big step and not a scratch!
Often in life, we find ourselves driven into a corner, feeling as if it's only a choice between option A or option B and there are no other paths. This type of mentality is very limiting and causes a lengthy list of issues including stress, anxiety, frustration, and above all extremely irrational decision making. It's pretty rare when there are only two choices, for several reasons.
Anchor Bias: At first encounter of a question we are offered two options, and because of this approach, our mind anchors on them as if they are the only options available. In reality, there are so many more. You're at a restaurant with your spouse and they look over the menu and say: "Are you having the chicken or steak?" .....There are a lot of other options.... fish, salad, Tofu?? Ok the last one isn't really an option. You get the point though, we hear the two options and become narrowed, leading us to choose between two things we may not even want.
Mutually Exclusive: These days, opinions are often delivered as absolute truths, leaving no room for nuance. We’re presented with two opposing choices, and it’s implied that picking one cancels out the other. This either/or mindset is everywhere, subtly convincing us that compromise or overlap isn’t possible. Over time, we’ve gotten really good at buying into this illusion, even when reality is far more layered and flexible.
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Just because we want to focus on our business, doesn't mean our marriage has to suffer.
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Just because we need to eat more healthy, doesn't mean we can't have a slice of cheesecake ever.
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Just because we have confidence, doesn't mean we can't have humility.
Our brain gravitates towards black and white because binary thinking is fast and seemingly easier. The problem is, it shuts off the rest of our brain to the "out of the box" options. A lot of times, the answer can be both!
If you're currently in the middle of a life impacting decision here are a couple things to consider:
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Decisions should always be rooted in what is right, not in what is comfortable or convenient. Use this as a filter and your decisions will consistently breed healthy and productive results.
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Don't ever make decisions in a valley. When life is down and out, emotions run high. This is where irrational decisions take place. Do your best to wait it out and logic can join the conversation.
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Imagine someone who is not vested (whether it be in time, emotion, or effort) parachuted into your current dilemma. How would they handle the situation? Try to see the decision through their eyes.
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Always OWN your decision. It doesn't matter the result, what people say or think, it was your decision and you need to take responsibility for it. It will make you more confident in your decision making in the future.
Adhering to these guidelines will strengthen your decision making and simplify (in a more healthy way) your path to the best answers.
People’s decision-making is driven by one of two factors: the potential result of the decision, or their identity.
When decisions are based on results, the focus is on whether the outcome will lead to pain or pleasure. While this can lead to action, it’s often short-term thinking and doesn’t always lead to the best decisions.
On the other hand, identity-based decisions ask: What would someone like me to do in a situation like this? These decisions tend to produce lasting results because your ego will fight to support choices aligning with your identity.
Life is full of decisions, and sometimes the path forward isn’t immediately clear. We often think we’re stuck with just two choices, but when we step back, we can see a world of options. It’s not about picking the easiest route; it’s about choosing with intention and purpose. True progress comes when our decisions reflect our deepest values, pushing us toward the life we’re meant to create.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges
1. Identify a decision you've been avoiding: Break it down into the possible outcomes and see it through a new lens. Maybe you don't have to choose just one.
2. Make a “third option”: The next time you’re stuck between two choices, challenge yourself to find a third, out-of-the-box option. Break the mold of the usual path.
3. Practice slow decision-making: Take longer than usual to make one decision this week and see how it changes your process. Sometimes time opens up the mind.
4. Own your decisions: This week, take full responsibility for a decision, no matter the outcome, and reflect on how it felt. Especially if it was a bad one. Let the people around you know you are willing to own your choice.
Every day unfolds through a series of decisions, small and large, shaping the path before us. Taking time to sharpen this skill can transform the course of our lives. It’s a quiet art, often unnoticed and rarely studied, yet it holds the power to unlock a future built with intention and clarity. The more we refine how we choose, the more exponential our growth becomes.
"The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision."
– Maimonides