Balancing Act
What is balance anyway? Really, it's such an arbitrary concept, isn't it? We hear about it all the time...work-life balance, emotional balance, life balance.
We think of it as this perfect state, something we can reach if we just get our act together. Balance isn’t a destination. It’s a moving target. And more often than not, it’s about stretching ourselves toward the opposite of our default tendencies.
Do you ever feel crazy overwhelmed? Like there is so much to do that you can never get it all done and you're barely mentally present anyway.
Most of us live by default. We get into routines, we fall into patterns, and we do what’s familiar. What if balance isn’t about finding a middle ground? What if it’s about stretching beyond our comfort zones into the extremes we tend to avoid?
Finding balance isn’t about status quo; it’s about continual growth navigating the ebb and flow of life’s demands.
The Fluidity of Balance
The idea of "finding balance" suggests it’s something we should be able to attain, a single moment where everything aligns perfectly. Balance isn’t something static. It’s fluid...constantly shifting, adjusting as our lives evolve. You’re never done finding balance. The skill is being in tune enough to recognize when things are off.
Be in tune. To you. Your family. Your dreams. They all hold weight. They all matter. These and possibly more categories demand attention to thrive. Going extreme in one of these categories is not a bad thing... it's neglecting others that you will regret.
I've had many seasons people would consider "imbalanced". I believe there is a time and place for this but it's important to visualize every category of your life as a garden. If any garden is left unattended long enough weeds will pop up. Let this compound and those weeds will completely choke out the garden.
Life has a way of dragging you into a narrow focus. It's easy to feel as though you are winning in one category while you're letting another one fall apart. Where there is growth... there are benefits, accolades, and dopamine. So we are often drawn to the category that feels good at the time. Widen your view.
Where Is Your Time Really Going?
A powerful way to think about balance is to look at where you’re investing your time. If you were to create a pie chart of your life, what does it look like? Is most of your time spent working? At your kids sporting events? Meeting your extended family's expectations?
Is your personal life taking a backseat? Do your relationships have the time they deserve? Or is it all about constantly pushing toward success, leaving little room for rest or reflection?
I would encourage you to sit down and define your values. Use this as a filter to see your pie chart through. Does the biggest piece of the pie match what you would consider your number 1 value/priority? Having this visual can help highlight what needs to be balanced.
Take a moment and ask yourself right now: Does my family, my dreams, my values truly run my life, or am I just running through the motions, letting outside distractions steer me off course? There’s a difference between knowing what matters and actively living by it. Life has a way of pulling us in many directions, and the weight of obligations, routines, or expectations can blur the lines.
The true test of balance isn’t just about fitting everything in....it's about making sure the things that matter most are what you center your life around.
What is at the helm of your life today? Are you guiding it, or are you being swept along by the current of external forces, half-distracted, unaware of the true potential of your relationships, dreams, and personal growth?
It’s important to take a hard look at your time and what really drives your life. Many of us invest heavily in work, or maybe we pour everything into our families, leaving little room for personal growth or self-care. But here's the thing, where your focus goes your energy flows.
If work is eating up 80% of your pie chart, that’s what’s running your life, whether you realize it or not. The challenge is in recalibrating, finding where you need to shift time and energy to make sure what truly matters gets the attention it deserves.
Just like any business strategy, where you invest your time will determine your outcomes. Are you making conscious decisions about where you put your energy? Or are you letting external demands drive your focus?
It might mean cutting back on one area to make room for another, or being more deliberate about how you allocate your time and energy. That recalibration, the realignment, is what helps bring balance back into focus.
Balance isn’t the absence of tension. It’s about managing it, accepting life will always pull us in different directions. There’s a tension between extremes....work and rest, freedom and responsibility, action and reflection.
Cultural and Personal Differences
Balance looks different for everyone and it's deeply personal. It’s not one-size-fits-all and comparing yourself to others only creates more pressure.
What works for someone else might feel like chaos to you, and vice versa. The way you define balance is shaped by your life experiences, values, and where you are in the journey. Thinking you can compare or replicate the lifestyle of a 27-year-old single person with that of a 45-year-old parent with five kids is unrealistic.
For some, balance means setting rigid boundaries, scheduling every moment to ensure work and rest are perfectly aligned. For others, it’s about allowing for spontaneity and flexibility.
Your version of balance will look different depending on your stage in life, the goals you’re pursuing, and the challenges you're facing....and that's ok.
Balance isn’t about perfection, and it certainly isn’t about reaching a static point of harmony. It’s about movement...about recognizing when the scales tip too far in one direction, and having the wisdom and courage to shift them back. It’s about acknowledging there will always be tensions, always be areas where you feel pulled in different directions, and learning to navigate those currents with intention.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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Time Audit Challenge: Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to track where your time went. Did you spend it on activities aligned with your values, or did distractions take over? Do this for a week and reflect on whether your time is reflecting what truly matters to you. Once you have clarity, create a plan to shift your time towards your top priorities.
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Value-Based Scheduling Challenge: Look at your calendar for the next week. Block out intentional time for your core values... whether that’s family, personal growth, health, or something else. Set specific time slots for these activities and treat them as non-negotiable meetings. This ensures that your schedule is aligned with your values and not just external demands.
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"No" Challenge: Practice saying "no" to something this week that doesn’t align with your values or goals. It could be a task, a social engagement, or an unnecessary obligation. By declining, you’re carving out more space for the things that truly matter. Take note of how it feels to let go of something that doesn’t serve your higher priorities.
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Intentional Reflection Challenge: Every morning, take 5 minutes to reflect on your values and how they relate to your day. Ask yourself: “What is the one thing I can do today that moves me closer to what I value most?” Whether it’s a decision, a conversation, or a small action, make sure your day is purposeful and aligned with your true priorities.
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Weekly Check-In Challenge: At the end of each week, do a check-in. Review how you spent your time and energy and ask yourself: "Did I allocate my resources towards what matters most?" If not, plan adjustments for the coming week to ensure you're making more time for your values. This could involve reassessing commitments, rearranging priorities, or even setting new goals that better reflect your values.
Balance is the art of being present with your values, not just knowing what matters but living it, even when life tugs you in a thousand directions. So, take a moment to reflect: Are you driving your life, or are you simply being carried along? Be intentional. Adjust your focus. Because in the end, the balance you seek is the one you actively create each day, with every choice you make.
"Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create."
– Jana Kingsford