Bound By Choice

I've heard someone say "There are decisions I make everyday that make me who I am and keep me free." This statement has stuck with me for over a decade and I often reflect on what it means for each of us.

Through this reflection I came to realize the inverse is just as impactful. There are decisions we make every day that keep us where we are and in bondage. None of this should come as a surprise to us, but stating it out loud is a bit jarring.

We are on the cusp of Independence Day and I would be remiss to not express some thoughts on Freedom. The freedom we celebrate, on a macro level, was earned with the blood and sacrifice of others.

I feel I take this freedom for granted, binding myself with my own thoughts and choices. We were made to be free… if by submission, then by design. If by structure, only by choice, yet we hand the keys over to someone else forcing on us their structure and submitting us to their mission.

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response where a captive begins to identify with, and even sympathize with, their captors. That's us. Everyday we not only permit but accept, participate, and justify our captors impact on our lives.

We surrender our mental, emotional, financial, or relational freedom to someone else's systems, their expectations, their mission.

It feels indirect… but the result is painfully direct.

The world isn’t forcing you to stay where you are. Your own quiet decisions are doing that just fine.

So how do we navigate a culture that preaches freedom but profits off your bondage? How do you reclaim what's already yours....without burning it all down?

It starts within. Inside your head. Inside your daily choices. You don't need a full-scale revolution. You need small, deliberate acts of defiance against the parts of life keeping you handcuffed.

Here are the areas that keep most of us stuck and where real mental freedom begins:

Expectation

The weight of expectation is one of the most underestimated forms of bondage.We inherit it from parents, partners, social media, even from versions of ourselves that no longer exist.

Freedom comes when you question the expectations that govern you. Are they yours? Are they aligned with your values? Or are you living out a blueprint someone else handed you and you signed off on...not realizing the implications.

Expectation management isn't about rebellion for the sake of it. It's about owning your trajectory. You can't be free while carrying the crushing weight of what everyone else thinks you should be.

Financial Dependence

They say money can’t buy happiness....but lack of it sure buys stress, restriction, and dependence.

Freedom isn’t about having millions. It’s about building the financial discipline and awareness that gives you choices. Too many of us trade long-term freedom for short-term comfort....debt, impulse, status chasing.

The real flex? Having the financial breathing room to say no. To walk away. To not owe anyone your compliance because you need them for your survival.

Responsibility

Leadership, parenting, relationships...these all come with responsibility. But there’s a hidden trap: when your peace, your success, or your forward movement depends entirely on someone else's consistency, you’re not free.

You’re handcuffed to their performance. You'll never be completely free of this unless you're going to be a yeti living on the side of a mountain somewhere...but you can dictate the terms.

There’s a tension here, because you can’t opt out of responsibility and I can assure you...you don't want to. But you can build systems, boundaries, and standards to keep you from being emotionally or financially enslaved to people who refuse to show up.

Freedom means leading, loving, and working...but never letting your well-being hinge entirely on variables you don’t control.

Discipline

The irony? Freedom requires discipline.

Without it, your time, your mind, your body....they get claimed by the chaos of life. Every “yes” that should’ve been a “no.” Every skipped boundary. Every undisciplined choice erodes freedom a little more.

Discipline doesn’t chain you. It frees you to walk through life with intention instead of reaction.

Micro vs. Macro Freedom

It’s easy to wave a flag, celebrate a national holiday, post a quote about freedom. But what about your daily life?

The macro-level freedom most of us have was earned. But micro-level freedom....the kind that determines how peaceful, purposeful, and autonomous you actually feel....isn’t guaranteed.

You earn this in the micro-moments:

What thoughts you dwell on
How you manage your time
Who gets access to your energy
What stories you keep repeating

Freedom lives there....in the quiet, unseen corners of your routine. Or bondage does.

Silent Submission

Most people never notice when they trade their freedom away, because it happens quietly.

It’s the job you stay in that drains you. The friendship that manipulates you. The belief system that no longer fits, but you’re too afraid to challenge. The thoughts that loop in your head convincing you this is as good as it gets.

No one’s holding a gun to your head. But you’re complying all the same. Silent submission keeps more people stuck than any external force ever could.

The first rebellion? Awareness. Call it out. Refuse to comply with the narratives, habits, and structures that quietly suffocate your potential.

You were made to be free.

Freedom with boundaries.

Freedom with discipline.

Freedom that lets you build the life you actually want, not the one that conveniently keeps everyone else comfortable.

You don’t drift into freedom.

You decide your way into it.

And every small, quiet, intentional decision you make is either buying your freedom back, or handing it away.

Your revolution doesn’t start out there. It starts in here.

Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:

Question One Expectation Today: Identify a major expectation in your life. Personal, professional, or societal and ask: Is this truly mine, or did I inherit it? Adjust accordingly.
Audit One Financial Habit: Pick one area of spending, saving, or debt you've been avoiding. Make a decision today that moves you one step closer to financial freedom.
Design a No-Compromise Morning Start: Start your day with one action that's for you: journaling, workout, silence, reflection. Own your morning, own your freedom.
Silent Submission Check: Where are you quietly complying with something that no longer serves you? Relationship, job, belief, behavior...acknowledge it.
Discipline Over Convenience: Choose one moment where convenience tempts you: skipping the workout, numbing with your phone, procrastinating. Pick discipline instead.

Today is just going to be another day and tomorrow the same. The quality of your life will be a direct reflection of the depth of your freedom. It kind of sucks that the concept of freedom has been so commercialized it's almost trite. Remind yourself what it really is. The difference between living life and a life really lived.

Bound By Choice​

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Bound By Choice