Peace 2.0: The Price Just Went Up
There’s a lot to be said about one of the most valuable commodities you can access in this life: peace.
Most of us don’t realize we own it until we’ve given it away. I didn’t fully grasp what peace actually costs until I had to pay for it...again and again, in small, almost invisible installments.
Like air or money, peace is something you don’t notice when you have plenty of it. The more you have, the less you think about it. But when it starts to get squeezed, when it’s scarce, the need for it becomes impossible to ignore.
Peace is a currency we constantly trade, often without realizing it.
You want to grow? It will cost a little peace.
You want a deeper relationship? A little more peace.
You want success? That’ll cost peace too.
Almost everything worth having requires some transaction with your peace, and for a long time, I was willing to pay. Without hesitation.
There’s something about me, a trait that’s become central to how I operate: I have an almost innate desire to take responsibility. I don’t think this was always intrinsic, but it’s definitely ingrained now. I pride myself on being the one who shows up, who carries the weight, who fills in gaps.
The thing is, others notice this too, and they learn how to use it.
Over the years, I’ve found myself in a familiar pattern: people began to treat my sense of responsibility as a lever. At first, it was small, a favor here, a late-night call there, a “can you just handle this?” before I even had a chance to say yes.
It felt good to be needed, to be reliable. Although slowly, it shifted. It stopped feeling like generosity and started feeling like obligation. I didn’t see it at first, but I was allowing my peace to become collateral in other people’s lives. Every yes was another slice gone.Every burden I carried wasn’t really mine but was another payment made.
Then it came... the moment when I wanted my peace back.
That’s when things get messy.
When you start reclaiming peace, people and life don’t always cooperate. You pull back and suddenly you’re selfish. You say no and they act wounded or surprised. You draw a boundary and you can feel the offense settle across their face.
Regardless of how they feel that peace was always yours. You have every right to take it back....anytime, for any reason.
Even if it upsets people.
Even if they think less of you.
Even if they accuse you of changing.
Well... you have changed. You’ve woken up. You’ve seen how subtly your peace has been hijacked, not necessarily by bad people, but by people who saw an opening and took it. Sometimes, even with your encouragement.
Reclaiming peace isn’t easy.
It’s uncomfortable when people in your life now cause stress and anxiety in every interaction. It’s unsettling when Sunday unease creeps in before Monday arrives. It’s exhausting when something steals your sleep.
These are the signs your peace is compromised. You have two choices: keep paying or pause, breathe, and reclaim what was always yours.
That reminds me of my five-year-old daughter. When it’s bedtime she loves to talk...and talk...and talk. I love those moments, but sometimes she needs to settle down so she can actually fall asleep. So I ask her to take three deep breaths through her nose. On the third one, I ask her to take an extra deep breath. Almost every time, it ends in a yawn...and she’s asleep moments later.
That yawn… that involuntary reset…
That’s what reclaiming peace feels like.
It’s not a grand, aggressive act. It’s not some dramatic exit. It’s often just a deep breath, a pause, followed by a quiet decision to hold your peace tighter, to spend it more deliberately, to stop handing it out so easily.
What I’ve realized is this: just because I have the capacity to take responsibility doesn’t mean I owe it to anyone. Just because I can show up doesn’t mean I always should. Just because I care doesn’t mean I must surrender my peace in the process.
I think often we become lazy and it's easier for someone to tell us what to do than it is for us to decide for ourselves. This is no way to live. Your decisions every day are your choice, regardless of what anyone else says, regardless of how it makes anyone else feel.
Peace is mine. And it’s yours too.
So here’s what Peace 2.0 is really about: recognizing when the cost is too high. Listening for the early warning signs...the anxiety, the sleeplessness, the Sunday dread. Giving yourself permission to renegotiate the terms, no matter what anyone thinks.
Life will never stop asking for your peace.
People will never stop needing your time, your energy, your empathy.
But only you can decide what you truly owe...and to whom.
And sometimes…
The most generous thing you can do, for yourself and for them, is to take a deep breath… and take your peace back.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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Audit your yeses: Look at your calendar this week. How many “yeses” did you give automatically? Identify one that you can gracefully step back from.
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Sunday scan: Check in Sunday evening. What’s stealing your peace before Monday arrives? Take action to address it before the week starts.
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The deep breath test: Practice the “3 deep breaths” reset once a day, especially when you feel stress rising. On breath three, pause and observe what shifted.
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Protect your mornings: Start one day this week without immediately opening your phone or responding to anyone. Keep that first hour sacred.
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Unapologetic no: Say no this week without over explaining or justifying. Just no...kind, but firm.
Life without peace isn't life, it's slavery. It's indentured servitude to those you have relinquished your peace to. Just remember, every token of peace you've released has your name engraved on it. You have the power to reclaim it whenever you want.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”
— Pema Chödrön
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