What You Know and What You Don't
Years ago I was playing a game of Pictionary with my wife and friends. I enjoy the game, although this night would cement a mistake that would follow me around the rest of my life. It was my turn to draw a card and illustrate…it’s common for someone to draw a card and have no clue how to convey what is on the card. A little more rare situation, is when you draw the card and don’t know what the word is.
I feel as though I have a decent vocabulary, but I drew the card and stared at it for a while. Realizing it was a word I didn’t know, I started to put it back in the box to draw another card. My wife asked what I was doing. I said, “I don’t actually know what the word is.” Doubting me, she said, “Yes you do, what is it?”
I pulled the card back out and looked at her confidently. “No, I don’t. What is a Spa-too-la?” Her eyes lit up like she’d won the lottery and she burst into laughter. “You mean a spatula?” I was at a loss for words. I don't know if I'd never seen it spelled out before? Maybe I had a long day...Maybe I need to use a spatula more often..I’ve since studied the dictionary every night since then to try to live down this debacle.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced this kind of embarrassment, but it’s heightened when your confidence overrides the possibility that you could be wrong. I gave the abridged version of this story but what amplified the mic drop is my confidence in not knowing the word....sounds kind of ridiculous when you think about it.
Our extreme confidence in our stance on a subject is often rooted in a concept called availability heuristics. It's when we use information that comes to mind quickly and easily when making decisions regardless of how accurate it is. Primarily using our own personal experiences or the information most readily available as our reference point.
The problem is our experiences are severely limited compared to the information that actually exists. We come to a fork in the road and recruit “facts” from our own history and use them as a measuring stick to help us make decisions.
This would be like being asked to do surgery on someone and using the kid’s board game Operation as guidance. Logic doesn’t work that way when we make decisions. Without a broader scope of objectivity, we validate our own experiences and confidently make choices based only on what we think we know.
The strength of your decision making is held up by your ability to admit that you don’t know. The more humble you remain and inquisitive toward the truth, the better chance you have of making quality decisions. In other words, the more you’re willing to admit that you don’t know, the better chance you have of making a choice “in the know.”
The world is headed in a crazy direction. A.I.’s capabilities will make it increasingly difficult to know the difference between fact and fabrication. I cannot tell you how often I hear people share something they’ve “learned,” and when I ask where they heard it, they explain it was a video or something they read online.
We have a propensity toward a dopamine hit when delivering intriguing information to others. We will often parrot what we’ve heard if it’s compelling. The world is being pumped with false information under the flag of gaining attention.
Not only do we need to challenge our own knowledge, but we need to challenge the knowledge presented to us and be careful what we repeat.
It’s not a fun reality to navigate, but it is necessary to keep seeking the truth in everything. So what do you know? There’s a stark difference between your truth and THE truth. You have to ask yourself where your truth comes from.
One of the most valuable anchors in this ever-changing reality is taking the time to define your values. If you don't have a reference point for your truth, you’ll be blown around like the wind. Like the saying goes: if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
At the end of the day, wisdom doesn’t come from having all the answers but from having the courage to ask the right questions. It’s not about protecting your ego or proving you’re the smartest in the room, it’s about pursuing truth even when it costs you pride.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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The Admission Challenge: Force yourself to say “I don’t know” when you don’t. Prove humility is stronger than pride.
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The Source Challenge: Before repeating something, force yourself to ask “Where did this come from?” and verify it.
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The Pause Challenge: Force yourself to slow down before making a decision and gather one more perspective first.
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The Input Challenge: Force yourself to ask someone else for their view today, even if you think you already know the answer.
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The Humility Challenge: Force yourself to approach one conversation with the posture of a learner, not an expert.
When you can admit you don’t know, when you slow down long enough to test what you’ve heard, and when you stay humble enough to keep learning, you put yourself in position to actually live “in the know.” That’s where better choices are made, deeper character is built, and trust in your leadership grows.
“It is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.” – Mark Twain
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