What's the Point?
I was working on trying to get my daughter to bed, which can prove to be a difficult task from time to time. This time was going fairly smooth when I got a text from my son asking if I could come to his room to chat once his sister was asleep.
I made my way over assuming I knew what the talk was in reference to. He’s been working on trying to navigate his thoughts when it comes to being productive. I taught him long ago that we take care of what we need to do before we ever move on to what we want to do. While that is sound advice, his current point of conflict is, “what is enough?”
In a world where "grind" is the message and he has a strong desire to be successful, he’s trying to make sure he’s prioritizing the right things at the right time.
He’s not sure he’s doing enough. He’s not sure what he’s doing is going to lead to the results he wants. Sigh… you’re fifteen, man. Chill out. (I’ve created a monster.)
Half the stuff he’s referring to is fairly simple...reading and journaling consistently, practicing piano since he’s on the worship team at church, knocking out school work, and wanting to start another business. Simple things, but for him, they mean a lot.
We sat and spoke, and I asked him what made him think he wasn’t doing enough. He said sometimes when he’s practicing the piano, he can just tell his attitude isn’t there. He’s forcing himself through it, and it’s nothing like other times when he’s having a blast.
We all deal with these feelings, but overthinkers can get wrapped up in the details. We have a bad day, a poor performance, or a conversation that didn’t go the way we thought it should, and all of a sudden we wonder if we’re way off.
What’s the point of all this effort? All this beating ourselves up trying to make sure it's enough? That we are enough?
Literally the next day I ran into this quote:
“My favorite people are seriously unserious.
The ones who work like killers and joke like kids.
The ones who build with obsession but live with joy.
The ones who chase greatness like their life depends on it and do it all with a grin on their face.
They are deadly serious and playfully alive. Those are my kind of people.”
– Jude Fredman
That’s it right there. Somewhere along the line, we confuse seriousness with significance. We think if it’s not heavy, it’s not meaningful. We forget joy is a performance enhancer, not a distraction.
"You can’t wait for life to stop being hard to be happy." I heard a lady say this who was battling cancer. I was honestly embarrassed. I know there’s context for everything, but man, I do a horrible job when it comes to choosing joy in the hard.
You can want to be great and still laugh your way there. You can work hard without being hard on yourself. You can take your goals seriously without taking yourself so seriously.
There are presets of discipline you can build into your efforts. Simple mental switches that keep you steady without turning everything into a battle. Walk into the gym and before you start, tell yourself, “I’m going to give it everything I’ve got today.” That small thought keeps you focused without over-dramatizing the bad days. You won’t always have your best, but you’ll always have your effort.
When you do look back on your effort, ask “How can I do this better next time?” instead of “How could I have done that better?”One focuses on growth, the other on guilt. One builds you, the other breaks you. That forward focus keeps your energy moving in the right direction.
I’m working on this in a big way myself. I tend to err on the side of having an RBF......locked in, intense, all business. It serves me in some areas, but it also steals from the fun. You only get to live this life one time. If we’re not enjoying the journey, what’s the point?
You can build the habits. You can chase the goals. You can hold yourself to a high standard. Just don’t forget to enjoy it along the way.
The seriousness will carry your effort. The joy will carry your spirit.
Be both.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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Lighten the Load: Catch yourself when you start taking things too seriously. Smile once. Then keep going. Joy is fuel, not a distraction.
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Rebuild Joy into Routine: Whatever feels forced, find one way to make it fun again. Change the music. Change the setting. Change your energy.
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Enjoy the Grind: Chase excellence without losing the grin. Work hard without letting the work harden you. The goal is progress, not pressure.
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Drop the RBF: Lighten your face, your tone, your energy. People remember how it felt to be around you more than what you accomplished.
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Be Seriously Unserious: Bring intensity without the ego. Take your work seriously...just not yourself.
We only get one run at this life. The effort matters, but the energy matters more. You can grind your way forward or you can flow your way there....same direction, different feeling. The joy is what keeps you from rusting. So laugh while you lift. Smile while you build. Let your seriousness give you strength, and let your joy keep you human.
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E. E. Cummings
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