How Will You Play Your Hand?

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I think at times we all look around and feel as though someone has a better "hand" in life than we do. Well.... it's because they do. To think we are all born holding the same set of cards is naive. 

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Some are born with silver spoons in their mouths. Others start on a dirt floor.
Some grew up with two loving, present parents who are still married today. Others were raised by a single mom working three jobs just to keep the lights on.

Some had access to elite schools and endless opportunity. Others had to drop out of high school to help put food on the table.

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The dichotomy of starting points and endless combinations of cards that are dealt are so extreme, it should easily snuff out any emotion towards the word "fair" in your life. The problem is, it doesn't. We all have the feeling of life being unfair at times. In my house, fair is a four letter word that starts with an "F' and is no different than the other one as far as I'm concerned. Why? Because fair or not, it doesn't matter. Focusing on what's fair will change nothing for you.

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So why is it that some people born into wealth end up with nothing, while others who came from nothing end up with everything? It's because the cards you were dealt do not dictate the results in your life, it's how you play those cards. 

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Let’s stick with that card game analogy for a moment. Every hand is different. Sometimes you get to draw new cards, or you're dealt a fresh hand altogether. That’s the point: your cards can change. You can change.

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So the question you have to ask yourself is: Are you working to better your position by acquiring/replacing cards or are you just staring at your cards complaining about what you were dealt and watching everyone else win?

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Imagine playing cards with someone who every hand they were dealt just started complaining to everyone at the table about how crappy their cards were. Life works the same way. You've probably dreaded spending time with people who sit there and complain about the hand they were dealt 24/7. 

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Another aspect of a game of cards is the concept of bluffing. Bluffing in essence is representing you have something that you don't actually have. What it does is buy you time until you have a good hand or essentially allows you to attain a "win" without actually having the cards you need to truly win. Bluffing may get you by, may make you feel good to get a quick win, but it always only generates a temporary win. You will never bluff your way through the entire game and win. 

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So here’s my question: What’s your bluff? 

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When life deals you a bad hand, what’s the thing you turn to just to get by? Is it food? Comfort eating your way through the pain, hoping things will get better soon? 

Is it spending? Buying things you don’t need just to feel something, anything?

Maybe it’s drinking. Maybe it’s anger. There are a lot of ways to bluff our way through life. 

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But here’s the truth: bluffing works… until it doesn’t. Eventually, you overeat enough to reach a point where your health is on the line.
You spend so much money trying to feel better that you're left broke and overwhelmed. You get so used to faking your way through that you don’t even realize you’ve run out of chips.

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Just like in cards, if you keep bluffing, you’ll eventually bust.

The truth is, we don’t get to choose the hand we’re dealt, but we do get to choose how we play it. Maybe life hasn’t been fair. Maybe you’ve been dealt a hand that no one else sees, carrying weight no one else knows. But you’re still here. You’re still in the game and that means you still have a choice. 

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You can keep bluffing, numbing, avoiding, pretending or you can decide that your story isn’t finished yet. That your struggle can shape you instead of define you. Growth happens when you stop making excuses, stop comparing, and start playing your hand with intentionality. So take inventory. Be honest about your patterns. And then decide, today, not to bluff, but to build. Because the game isn’t over, and the next move is yours.

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So what are you going to do with what you’ve been given? 

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Today's Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges

1. The “No Bluff” Day: For 24 hours, commit to no numbing behaviors. No comfort eating, no impulse spending, no overdrinking, no doom-scrolling. Sit with discomfort and respond instead of react.

2. One Small Win Daily (7-Day Streak): Choose one area where you’ve felt stuck and create one tiny win each day (e.g., 10-minute walk, send that email, prep one meal, journal one page). Track it for 7 days.

3. Financial Truth Session: Review your bank statement and categorize each purchase: Need, Want, or Bluff. Be brutally honest. Then choose one “bluff expense” to cut for 30 days and redirect that money to something that builds long-term stability.

4. The “Rewrite Your Story” Letter: Write a letter to your younger self explaining how you’re going to take what you were given and make something meaningful out of it. Read it out loud to yourself.

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Overall a quote that has always reinforced my commitments is the knowledge that "Someone else is out there winning with the same hand you were originally dealt." You've got this! 

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." — Ralph Waldo Emerson​