Just Do What Hurts
You’ve probably heard the phrase, You can either experience the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Lately, I’ve started to see this phrase through a different lens. While the message emphasizes the value of discipline, here’s what I’ve come to realize....pain is inevitable. It’s going to happen either way.
Pain is inevitable and realizing this can be extremely freeing. When you choose to face it proactively instead of waiting for it to hit you, the outcome is completely different. One builds strength, the other leaves you scrambling.
We spend the majority of our time trying to dodge this pain when in reality it's not even an option. We think we are, but in truth, all we are doing is delaying it. We are just pushing it off to a later date. This approach is not only unhealthy, but it's also not the most beneficial way to move forward.
Why? You may ask... Well I don't know if you've ever been in a fight before, but if you have, you know getting punched in the face hurts a lot less if you know it's coming. When you can control the timing of the pain and maybe even the intensity, it makes it a lot more bearable.
So my advice... Just do what hurts.
This pain permeates every aspect of life:
Physical growth/Health: If you don't work out or eat healthy, I get it, it’s tough. Hear me out. The feeling of working out and the discomfort of eating well can be hard, unpleasant, and easy to not like. What you might be overlooking is the pain you're already carrying in your body from being out of shape.
Physical pains: Low energy, aching joints, back pain, shortness of breath, poor sleep, frequent illness, slow recovery.
Mental/emotional pains: Low confidence, poor body image, anxiety, depression, frustration, self-loathing, public embarrassment, loss of identity.
Many people assume that these physical and mental pains are just a normal part of life...but they’re not. They’re often the result of poor health, and the reality is as your health improves those pains tend to fade. Better health isn’t just about feeling stronger, it’s about healing what you thought you had to live with.
They only get worse the longer you avoid them. Ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away; it gives it room to grow.
Personal Growth/Discipline: A study in Psychology Today found that 42% of college graduates NEVER read another book after graduating college. This is a staggering number although I feel it is common for many to not even recognize the value of reading for growth.
People around you who struggle with the "status quo" of you, more often than not, will not tell you. People who you are really close with (and are good friends) will have the guts to maybe say something. Which is great and all, but 95% of the people you engage with are not your close friends. So, they will just continue to endure your short comings begrudgingly.
It is our responsibility to continue to build the best version of us, and this is not done through just existing. Every challenge you survive is an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow. Every person you meet is a resource of information to take interest, question, and develop. Every book you read is a gateway to challenge, shift, and cultivate new mindsets.
If you don't like the way your relationships are going, the way you feel about yourself, or the direction or pace at which your life is headed it may be worth it to quit assuming it's life's fault...and question if it may actually be yours.
Emotion/Relationships: Regardless of your upbringing, being Pollyanna or hell on earth, we all have baggage. Life guarantees struggle. It doesn't matter how hard you try, you're going to have hard encounters and they always include other people. Pains for many people, follow them around relentlessly. The solution to a lot of this has to do with letting go. Sometimes you have to let go of current relationships that are toxic and other times you have to let go of past experiences that are continuing to hurt you.
Both require painful conversations. Painful conversations that include expressing your need for people to change if they want to stay in your life. Painful conversations with yourself and probably a counselor to navigate letting go of painful emotions from your past.
These may be among the most soul-stirring conversations you’ll ever have, but I urge you to press in. When you step into the discomfort rather than run from it, you reclaim control of your stress. Pain, when faced with intention, softens. It stretches out, becomes bearable, and reveals its purpose one layer at a time.
If you don’t, the pain doesn't just subside...it compounds. The unspoken words become walls. The unresolved tension builds pressure. What could have been a moment of growth becomes a slow erosion of your peace.
When you avoid the hard conversations, you surrender control to fear and let discomfort fester into resentment, disconnection, and regret. Silence becomes heavy. Distance grows. And the pain you were trying to dodge shows up anyway... louder, sharper, and on its own terms.
Knowing this pain is inevitable, it takes a mental shift to face it now rather than endure the slow torture of avoiding it. On the other side of this pain is a life filled with joy, peace, and clarity. You deserve to become this version of yourself and so does everyone who depends on you.
Today's Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges
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Wake Up an Hour Earlier for 7 Days: Use this time for clarity: journal, move your body, or sit in silence. Put yourself first in this way.
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List Every Person You Need to Forgive...Then Start: Even if it’s just internally, begin this process. Start with yourself. You will feel a significant weight lifted.
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Work Out Every Day for 14 Days (No Excuses): Even if it’s a 10-minute walk or bodyweight session. Move through discomfort on purpose. You have to do it this long to start to feel the benefit and know it's worth it to continue.
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Identify One Relationship That Needs a Boundary: Set it. Stick to it. Don't explain your worth. Don't feel the need to justify. You have to do what is healthy for you in the now even if it hurts them or you.
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Set a Reading Regiment: Whether it's 10 minutes a day or one chapter a day. Stick to it NO MATTER WHAT for at least one whole book.
The pain you carry each day is not a life sentence. It can be faced, softened, and even released, if you're willing. You can choose to lean into it now and begin to heal… Or you can ignore it, and feel its grip slowly tighten, year after year, until what once was tolerable becomes suffocating.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami