I'm Perfect

Have you ever heard someone say this?

I highly doubt it, and yet we find people pursuing this type of result on a regular basis. Of course, people are not running around saying, "I'm perfect," because, well... that would be ridiculous.

Yet, you will hear people claiming they're a "perfectionist." While the statement is birthed from a seemingly innocent desire, this nonsensical approach to life is rooted in poorly thought-out reasoning.

The origin of perfectionism is actually rooted in fear. The anxiety that anything under your watch could fail and, in turn, cause embarrassment for you is the genesis of the perfectionist's pursuit. The whole effort is under the guise of caring too much about what other people think.

Even more so, this mindset shows a lack of trust in others. Perfectionists believe no one else can create as good of results as them, so they rarely delegate. It's not an intentional insinuation but actions speak louder than words. It's pretty arrogant when you think about it.

This thinking stunts the growth of businesses and organizations. Responsibilities fall on the shoulders of a few, those who believe they alone are capable. Duplication becomes impossible because there's not enough trust in the organization, making it unscalable. It also undermines belief. If people don’t believe they can do what you do, what are they aspiring to?

The overall mindset is about as counterproductive to organic growth as you can get. Why? Because failure is the only real path to growth. The pursuit of flawlessness just leads to stagnation, procrastination, or a lack of satisfaction even with good results. If you want to grow, fail, and fail often.

I do believe it's important to strive for excellence in everything you pursue. Although, for most people, the use of this word instead is just semantics. The true divider between perfectionism and excellence is how you view the result. Perfectionists are heavily critical of themselves and others, even when they produce a good result, which leads to stress, burnout, and difficulty finishing tasks due to overthinking or overcorrecting.

Excellence, on the other hand, is about improvement and growth. It’s about using mistakes as opportunities to learn and become better. Failure will always be the stepping stone to success, so we might as well embrace it. Strive for excellence, find growth in mistakes, and be quick to delegate, giving others the opportunity to fail and grow too.

When my family had just moved into a new house, my 3-year-old daughter carried a gigantic plate of spaghetti through our carpeted living room. She managed to create a perfect lever out of her hands as the plate flipped over and landed face down. Biggest. Red. Stain. Ever. My daughter is 5 now. Do you think I'm now carrying her plate around for her everywhere she goes because of this incident? No.

In fact, this is where the phrase "accidents happen" was born in our house, followed by a conversation about how we learn from them. So, whenever a mistake is made, and my daughter looks up at me with her big blue eyes and says, "Accidents happen, right, Daddy?" I melt. Then we talk about how we can do better next time.

In fact, this is another great way of explaining the difference between seeking perfection and excellence, as well as an actionable takeaway. I'm all about after-action reviews, and after a failure takes place, it's common for someone to ask, "What did we do wrong here? Whose fault was it? Why didn’t we do this differently?" This approach is always geared toward tearing down the person who made the mistake, focusing on the failure instead of the future.

Instead, the question should always be, "What can we change to get a better result next time?" This focuses on growth and the future. Failure is not final; failure fosters.

The irony is that the very thing perfectionists try to avoid, failure, is the exact thing that will set them free. Without failure, there’s no feedback. Without feedback, there’s no growth. Without growth, you stay stuck in the same cycle, running in place but never actually moving forward. The perfectionist thinks they’re building a fortress of safety, but really, they’re building a prison of limitation.

What makes this even more damaging is how it plays out in relationships. Perfectionism doesn’t just keep you from growing, it keeps others from stepping up. If you never let someone else try because you fear they won’t get it right, you’ve robbed them of the opportunity to grow. You’ve also quietly told them, “I don’t believe in you.” That message, even if unintended, can erode trust and weaken bonds over time.

So much of leadership is about giving people room to fall, knowing that those very falls will teach them how to stand stronger. Think about how children learn to walk. They stumble, trip, and crash into the couch over and over again. No one calls them failures. We cheer them on because falling is proof that they’re trying. Yet when we become adults, we forget this truth and label every stumble as a flaw rather than progress.

This is why reframing mistakes is so important. A mistake isn’t the end. It’s a marker that you’re in motion, that you’re testing, learning, and risking enough to grow. In fact, the only real failure is refusing to move forward because you’re too afraid of falling.

The perfectionist builds walls. The person striving for excellence builds bridges. One isolates, the other multiplies. One keeps the weight of the world on their own shoulders, the other distributes the weight and watches others grow stronger in the process.

The most dangerous lie perfectionism whispers is, “If you just try harder, you’ll never fail again.”That’s impossible. Failure is woven into the fabric of progress. Excellence says, “I’ll try, and if I fail, I’ll try again with more wisdom.” That’s sustainable. That’s where growth compounds.

Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:

Imperfect Action: Write down one area of your life where you’ve been waiting until it’s “perfect” before you move forward. Take one imperfect action today and let the result teach you.
Let Go: Think of one responsibility you’ve been holding too tightly. Hand it off to someone else and allow them the chance to learn, even if mistakes happen.
Future Focus: At the end of the week, review one thing that didn’t go as planned. Instead of asking, “What went wrong?” write out, “What can I do differently next time?”
Own It: Share a recent mistake openly with a friend, colleague, or family member. Remove the shame from it and talk about what you learned.
Failure Fosters: Repeat the phrase, “Failure fosters” every time you catch yourself chasing perfection. Let it remind you that mistakes aren’t setbacks, they’re stepping stones.

Perfection may sound admirable when it comes out of someone’s mouth, but when you trace it back, it’s nothing more than fear dressed up as ambition. The sooner we recognize that, the sooner we can stop chasing the impossible and start living in a way that actually frees us to grow.

"Striving for perfection is a form of self-sabotage." – Dr. Robert K. Cooper

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