Right Here, Right Now

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The world comes at you fast, your alarm rips you from your sleep. You grab your phone to shut off the alarm, swipe and the world sucks you in. Five minutes pass, ten,..maybe even twenty. Now you're behind schedule and you roll out of bed before even giving attention to your spouse still in the bed. A moment missed...

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You're pretty much ready and yet still running behind your rushing to work, your daughter tailing behind you trying to tell you about a dream she had last night. You hear her...but you don't hear her.. off to work. A moment missed...

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Moments create emotion, emotions create memories. Did you know the depth of each memory is in direct correlation to how deep your relationship is with the people involved? So, how deep are your relationships? Our ability to cultivate deep and rich relationships is contingent on how present you are...in your own life. Maybe you're not a person who is always focused on the future, or reliving the past, but the main question is...where ever you are, is your mind there with you? 

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If there is a skillset to master, it's the skillset of being present. To be in the moment, to slow down and bring into focus those in front of you and the experience around you. The moment is where the heart is. The moment is where the memory is made. Not the past where we rest on our laurels. Not the future where "successful" people steady their gaze, but right now. 

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For all the talk about being present, it’s surprisingly easy to miss the point. We get caught up, not in the enjoyment of the moment, but in how we feel things should be happening. And before we know it, the moment is no longer something to experience, but something to manage, control, or direct.

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The comedian Brian Regan has this skit where he talks about his toddler son eating spaghetti. They are enjoying dinner together and the child gets rambunctious and starts to toss around noodles and such. Brian, a little frustrated, asks him to stop. Then things escalate and spaghetti ends up on the wall. His frustration turns to anger as he yells "Can't you see that the paint on the wall is more important than the joy in your heart!"..... This is obviously the facetious punchline to the joke...but wow....it hit me and my wife like a ton of bricks. It's amazing how, in a moment, we can become so tied up in things that truly don't matter. That moment is a memory worth enjoying not regretting. 

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Do you find yourself in these types of interactions regularly? I believe the cause of a response such as in this story is caused by your expectations. We expect a moment to go a specific way. Instead of experiencing the moment we try to dictate it. Instead of organically letting it take place, we try to control. This goes back to where you "stand" in the moment. Visualize it like this, when you are in the moment, you're a part of it, and experiencing it. When you are not mentally present, you are outside of the moment, looking to direct and control it. 

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There is a life to experience right in front of you.

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Yet, most of us don’t just miss moments occasionally , we live entire seasons on autopilot. Think about the last time you drove home and pulled into the driveway only to realize you barely remembered the ride. Your body was there, but your mind was far away. That’s how so many of us live day-to-day. We check tasks off the list, keep the machine running, but we miss the heartbeat of it all.

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The irony is that presence doesn’t just bless others, it feeds us too. When you lock eyes with your child while they’re sharing something small, that moment feeds you. When you actually laugh with your spouse, not distracted, not checking your phone, but laughing until your stomach hurts, you’re filled. When was the last time you laughed till your stomach hurt?

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Presence is not passive. It is an act of defiance against the current of hurry, against the pull of distraction, against the temptation to think life is somewhere else. Being present requires you to fight. To choose. To be. Here.

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Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:

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1. Anchor Yourself in the Now: Your mind will always try to pull you into the past or the future. Peace only exists in the present. When you notice yourself drifting, take a deep breath and bring your focus back to what’s right in front of you.

2. Let Go of the Illusion of Control: Worrying about the future doesn’t change it, and dwelling on the past doesn’t fix it. Your power lies in what you do now. Choose action over overthinking.

3. Practice Gratitude in Real-Time: Instead of focusing on what’s missing, appreciate what’s already here. Every moment carries something worth being thankful for. Find it, and presence will follow naturally.

4. Engage Fully in Conversations: Listen to understand, not just to reply. Be with people, not just near them. True listening creates presence not only for yourself but for others as well.

5. Breathe Before You React: When tension rises, pause. A single breath creates space between impulse and action. That space is where clarity lives.

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Life will keep pulling you in a thousand directions. Notifications, deadlines, meetings, goals. Yet none of them will hold you when life hits hard. None of them will sit by your bed when you’re sick. None of them will speak your name when you’re gone. That’s why presence matters. It is not just for today. ​

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So I’ll ask again: where is your mind? You may be sitting across from someone, but are you with them? You may be at the dinner table, but are you present? You may be working toward the future, but are you forfeiting the very gift in front of you?

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Life is now. Participate.

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“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”  – Eckhart Tolle 

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