I'm not that big of deal....
I think that depends on who you ask…
It doesn’t take much for life to knock the wind out of you. To cause you to question who you are. Over the last couple of years the concept of imposter syndrome has picked up steam and amplified the basic reality that we're all human, that we're all susceptible to self-doubt and question.
The thing about imposter syndrome is that it’s not reserved for the inexperienced or the unqualified. It shows up in boardrooms with seasoned executives.
It whispers in the ears of parents who are doing their best to raise kids. It lingers with students who excel academically but still feel like they’re faking it. What makes it powerful is not its truth, it’s the weight we give it when we let it define us.
When life delivers those inevitable blows, when circumstances challenge us, the voice of doubt gets louder. It tells us we’re not enough, we’re not capable, we’re not worthy.
While this feeling encroaches on our confidence, it's important to question the lens through which we're seeing this self-condemnation.
Perspective is everything. The lens you look through determines the story you tell yourself. If you see your struggles as evidence of failure, you’ll carry shame. If you see them as proof of resilience, you’ll carry strength. It’s the same life, the same circumstances, but a completely different interpretation. The question is, which lens will you choose?
Imagine this: If your friend lost their job and you showed up with coffee, sat with them for a bit, and simply listened, you didn't try to fix it or tell them how to feel.
You didn't offer blame or question their choices. You were just there. You might think it’s no big deal, but what if you're the only person who reached out.
That small gesture, the willingness to sit in someone else’s pain without trying to polish it, can mean everything. We tend to underestimate presence because it feels simple, but presence is rare. Most people shy away from discomfort.
They don’t know what to say, so they say nothing, but the person sitting across from you doesn’t need the perfect words. They just need you. What you dismiss as “nothing special” might be remembered by them for years.
If your business has been stagnating and you’re second-guessing everything thinking, "Am I a good leader? Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Are people talking behind my back?" These thoughts run wild.
Consider this: there are people who admire your courage to take risks, wishing they could be like you. There are others who work for you, who can support their families because you took that leap.
That’s the paradox of leadership. On the inside, you feel every mistake, every hesitation, every misstep. On the outside, people see the risk you’ve taken, the vision you’ve carried, the opportunities you’ve created. They see strength where you feel weakness. They see boldness where you see fear.
Leadership often feels lonely because the weight of responsibility magnifies your self-doubt. But to those who benefit from your courage, your presence matters more than you realize.
If you're a single mom, reflecting on a marriage that didn’t work out, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, "I failed. I wasn’t good enough." While those thoughts are natural, remember there are little eyes looking up to you. A son who would do anything to take care of you because you never missed one of his games. A daughter who confides in you because you're her hero.
The picture you carry of yourself is often incomplete. You may see the mistakes, the missed chances, the broken chapters. But your children? They see the everyday sacrifices, the unwavering presence, the late nights, the small kindnesses. They see a hero. And though you may judge yourself through the harsh lens of what fell apart, they look at you through the loving lens of what you’ve given.
Comparison will forever be the thief of your joy. Measuring your success by someone else’s standards will only erode your confidence. You are more than enough.
The problem with comparison is that it never ends. No matter what you accomplish, there will always be someone further ahead, richer, smarter, more put together.
If you base your worth on their scoreboard, you will always lose. Joy isn’t found in being ahead of others, it’s found in being aligned with who you’re becoming. The real freedom is recognizing that you don’t have to live someone else’s story.
The mirror is the only true measure of growth in striving to be the best version of you. Are you proud of the person you are looking at? In life, there is no teacher there to give you a grade. No universal measuring stick of accomplishment. You are the measure.
The fashion in which you take that measure can be constructive or destructive. We can all be our own worst critic. Challenge yourself to be better but don't let that inner voice venture in to the realm of comparison. You must govern your thoughts. If you're struggling with comparison, it’s a sign that you’ve given too much weight to what others think. This is between you and tomorrow's version of you.
The mirror doesn’t lie. It doesn’t grade on a curve. It doesn’t tell you where you rank compared to your neighbor, your colleague, or the stranger online. It reflects the raw truth: who you are when no one’s looking. In that sense, growth is deeply personal. It’s not about applause or titles, it’s about honesty. The person you were yesterday is the only valid point of comparison for the person you are today.
Stop keeping tabs of what you don't have. Take inventory the things that you do have.
Stop obsessing over what you haven't yet achieved. Celebrate the things you have accomplished.
Stop comparing yourself to who you are not. Focus on who you are and are becoming.
Gratitude is the antidote to comparison. When you take inventory of what you do have....the relationships, the moments, the progress...you’ll find abundance where you once saw lack.
When you shift from obsession with “what’s missing” to celebration of “what’s present,” joy multiplies. Growth becomes less about achieving perfection and more about appreciating the process.
Don't try to be someone else. Work to be the best version of you. No matter how hard you beat yourself up or think "I'm not that big of a deal".... It depends on who you ask.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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Write a “no big deal” list: Each night, jot down one thing you did for someone else that felt small to you but may have meant a lot to them.
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Sit with someone in silence: Next time a friend or family member is struggling, resist the urge to fix it. Just be present.
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Inventory gratitude: List 10 things you already have, rather than focusing on what you lack.
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Compliment yourself in the mirror: Look yourself in the eye and name one quality you’re proud of...out loud.
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Limit comparison triggers: Take a 24-hour break from social media, where highlight reels fuel self-doubt.
The truth is, every single person leaves ripples. A kind word, a small risk, a faithful act...it might feel ordinary to you, but it can change the trajectory of someone else’s life. You don’t always get to see the impact in real time, but it’s there.
When that inner voice tells you that you don’t matter, that you’re insignificant, that you’re not a big deal, remember this: to someone, you are.
"To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." – Dr. Seuss
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