When Will You be Done?
Is there a specific time-line, result, or number that will trigger your decision to quit? Do you have these written out somewhere?
If I do not hit my goal by this time frame I'm going to stop.
If this doesn't change by the end of the year I'm going to quit.
If we don't reach this point then we're going to be done.
Rarely does anyone have these types of stipulations defined somewhere, written out in a definitive fashion. Why? Because rarely do people make the decision to quit based off of logic. More often than not people make tomorrow's decisions based off today's emotions.
It has become socially acceptable to quit. Quit what? Everything. Is your job or school proving to be difficult? Just quit. Is your marriage not going the way you wanted it to? Walk away. It's gone as far as if you don't feel like being a parent anymore? It's ok, not everyone's cut out for it, just make sure to send a check...
At some point you have to let go of the notion that who you are, is in someway, a fixed reality. There is a solution to every problem and it rarely aligns with giving up. It may involve you changing for the better though. There will forever be those extreme situations where something must come to an end, but it is the exception, not the rule. In most cases quitting is a SELFISH ambition.
Our frustrations lead to emotions that we let run wild. We start to question what we are doing and forget WHY we started in the first place. Our original intent is muffled as we are drawn so far in the forest we can't see the trees.
Life in general has its way of doing this. The bad week, the hard day, or the extreme moment lead us to a place of poor decision. It's critical that we never make big decisions in the valley. We can be blinded by our feelings and allow them to start steering the ship.
Objectivity is your friend. The ability to step back and recognize even though you're having an extremely difficult time navigating these waters, it is crucial to remind yourself that many others have done it before.
Spurring the questions "What do they know that I don't? What have they learned that I haven't? How can we change to move forward?" This practice sparks a solution oriented mindset versus a self destructive path towards relenting. We cannot sit back and rest on the statement "I guess I'm not good enough."
Communication is paramount. When things get difficult it is easy to get lost in our own thoughts. When communication dies off your mind tends to fill the gap with negative. So whether it's a business partner, your boss, or your spouse, reaching out and being transparent about your thoughts can save you.
Someone who is not tied up in the emotions of your struggle brings a fresh narrative to the situation. I cannot express how many times I have brought my situation to someone highlighting all the negatives, just to have them turn the conversation around and shine a light on all the good things I have going. Outside perspective can go a long way.
Start small. Learning to be a finisher has a lot to do with who you are as a person. It's an Identity.Starting with small things that you refuse to not finish builds your character and defines you as someone who finishes what they start. Whether it's a board game or a book, build the habit of finishing no matter what. The way you operate in the small things is how you will operate in the big things.
Take pride in it. I have taken the stance that I will read every day. Sometimes that is me picking up my book and reading one page before going to bed. The original intent was to grow myself through reading, but at stages like this it's to prove to myself that I can force myself to do things I don't feel like doing... which is an equally valuable step in growth. Ask yourself how often you quit things. Get granular about it.
You maybe surprised how often you let this happen. These little surrenders hurt your self image more than you know. You can only break commitments to yourself so many times before it leads you to lose respect for who you are. Start to stand your ground in the small things and build from there.
You owe it to yourself and the people around you to be known for finishing what you start. In this day and age it will set you apart significantly. If you currently find yourself in a situation where you feel like quitting, step back and take a deep breath. Snuff out your emotion and FINISH.
Exercise objectivity
Seek outside Perspective
Start small
There’s a tension here that’s worth acknowledging. Not every fight is worth finishing, and not every hill is worth dying on. Sometimes what feels like “quitting” is actually self-awareness. If you’re in a situation where continuing steals your peace, suffocates your growth, or builds walls between you and the people who matter most, the bravest thing you can do is step away.
That’s not failure.... that’s wisdom. The world will tell you to keep grinding no matter the cost, but if the cost is your health, your integrity, or your closest relationships, then finishing that path is far more destructive than laying it down.
That being said, quitting has never been easier than it is today. Society rewards the short-term fix, the quick pivot, the reset button. Finishing is hard....that’s why it’s rare.
Finishing doesn’t just shape the outcome of the project, it shapes you. It molds your reputation, builds your integrity, and cements your self-respect. Every time you finish something, even something small, you reinforce the belief that you can trust yourself. This belief is worth more than any external validation.
It’s also contagious. Your kids, your team, your spouse....people are watching. If you quit at the first sign of difficulty, you silently give permission for them to do the same. If you finish....even battered, even slower than you hoped, you model what perseverance looks like. That example may end up being the very thing that carries someone else through their own valley.
Today’s Forced Challenge: I want you to FORCE yourself to attack at least one of these challenges:
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Audit your quits. Write down the last three things you quit...big or small. Be honest about why. Was it logic, or was it emotion?
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Close one loop. Pick something you’ve left unfinished: a conversation, a task, or a goal and complete it this week. No excuses.
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Seek one voice. Share your current struggle with someone you trust. Let them give perspective before you make any decisions.
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Do the one-page rule. Even if you don’t feel like it, force yourself to take one small daily action toward your growth (read one page, write one paragraph, do one pushup). Build the finisher’s identity.
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Set a no-quit boundary. Choose one area of your life where you are drawing the line....no quitting. Write it down, commit to it, and remind yourself daily.
What would shift in your life if you made the decision today that quitting is no longer an option? What if you committed to finishing, regardless of the outcome, just to prove to yourself that you won’t fold under pressure? Imagine how your confidence would shift in a year if you stacked dozens of completions on top of each other.
You don’t have to wait to test this. You can start today.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."
— Winston Churchill
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